When I think of you, John:, you make me smile most of the time ...but sometimes to be honest: Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
When I think of how much I miss you not being here, I feel the pain like I’m wearing a heavy coat. Not being a skier, my memories of the happiest times with you were truly on sunny days.
I feel you everywhere I go.
For Tom, snowy ‘powder’ days seem to hurt the most; and for your parents, I know all days must hurt the most.
The gift that I took away from knowing you, John; through good times and bad, is that:
I see your smile in happy times and I see your smile in hard times . I feel you with me all the time. John, I want you to know that I am able to get through the tough times in my own life, which in no means am I comparing to the tough times you endured, because of you. Truthfully, the tough times that life has thrown at me, were made easier for one reason and one reason alone and that is what I know to be true : YOU could do it. When times are tough, I think of you and think ; What would you do, say, and how would you cope? I have been able to take all those lessons that you taught me and cherish them, each and every day of my life. I feel that in the short time that you were here with us, that you taught us all so many lessons to be cherished and we are all so blessed to have known you. You truly have enriched so many lives.
I hear you laughing all the time and for some crazy reason, especially in the rain. (I remember when you were in the hospital for that whole first year, you use to tell me that you didn't mind being in there as much on the rainy days)
I still can't believe you’re really gone in the physical sense. The truth is that it’s just not fair that you died so young. It feels like the story of your beautiful and fulfilling life had really just begun, and then death tore all the pages away of what would have come.
God knows how we all miss you, John
Your parents, Cynthia, Tom, your family, T Bone, (maybe even Jake) and all of your friends especially Phil. Even the Potomac River's Wide water and nature misses you. (Maybe you would have even saved the snake-heads? Nahhhhhh ....) Thank you for sending "PARIS" to your mom for that time when she needed her the most. Can you imagine your mom , naming a pet squirrel PARIS?
I know for sure Utah and the ski slopes miss you and all the challenges you gave to them, to be ready when you were or “look out”, the sprinter, the bass boat, and all of your favorite fishing rods like carrot stix. You treated everything and everyone with respect. I know where you are in your beautiful after life, you now feel the joy that you gave to others so freely. The only consolation to not having you here is knowing that you are free from pain and suffering and that you are still with us every minute of every day.
I think of what a role model you were in so many ways: the obvious being: your hard earned talents, your' live life to the fullest philosophy', your integrity to be who you were, true to your self and others at all times, your endurance, your strength, and most of all your courage.
All the hell we’ve all been through missing you, does not for one minute compare to all the hell you endured for so long and yet you continued to give us comfort and serenity, every single day of your good and tough times right up until the end when you were still making sure that we were all going to be OK.
I’m sorry I made you watch "Dancing with the stars", but thank you for allowing us to try and find some crazy things to focus on other the seeing the sheer pain and agony you were enduring during those hard times in the hospital.
The hardest thing for us John is just knowing that no-one could ever take your place.
And sometimes I wonder;
Who'd you be today, tomorrow, and until you were an old man? I wanted to follow all your dreams and hear all your stories, and see all your accomplishments, and eat crabs with you, I’d even get my finger nails dirty just for you. I think if you were here today, Maybe I’d even have gone in the boat one day with you (with out a life preserver)
John, since you've been gone, Tom regained his pilots license (but I have a feeling you already know that and I have a feeling grand-dad was in on that FAA flight when all hell broke loose and Tom had to demonstrate his skills to the examiner, sounds a little fishy to me, don't you think?) In all seriousness John, you need to know that the biggest reason Tom was able to recover from his huge injury was the motivation that he got from you. I remember the first day he was in physical therapy at Hopkins and he was trying to stand and bounce a ball at the same time. You and your mom had come and surprised him and were both standing in the back of the room. Tom later told me when he looked at your mom, he saw a tear coming down her face as she was watching him struggle as he had to learn again something as simple as how to bounce a ball. He could only imagine the fears that must have been going through her mind at that moment. For a minute he said he felt totally helpless and overwhelmed with what was ahead of him as far as the huge rehabilitation that he faced and all of his own fears regarding how much would he really recover?. There were so many unknowns back then not only for Tom but for you. It was such a difficult time for all of us knowing what you were going through and then Tom's accident happened and it was so much at once. You know John in spite of all you were dealing with, you came to Baltimore so many times to be supportive to Tom. Tom told me later that night that seeing you that particular day was the turning point for him in his recovery. YOU gave him all of the motivation that he needed at that instant to never feel helpless or like a victim again. He knew that he would have to fight super hard to regain the use of his body but he could do it because of YOU. He said if not for seeing the courage, strength, and tenacity that you had in fighting your own cancer battle, he does not think he would have been able to come this far in his own recovery. Thank you John for playing the critical role you did in Tom's recovery.
Regarding Cynthia: I know this, John with her by your side, you would have really seen the world and chased your dreams, Settled down with a family, had some kind of ski business going on while she pursued her passion of pharmacy and Tom would have been mooching places to stay with you, eating at Nacho Mamas. I sometimes wonder what you would have named your babies and boy would they have been the worlds ‘most spoiled grandchildren’!
John, I know that you truly had the woman of your dreams (who adored and loved you with such a heart and soul) in Cynthia. I also know that Cynthia will eventually move on with her life but that the love you shared will sustain you both on a very deep level until you meet again in that magical place that really is eternity where the sky will always be blue and the powder will always be ‘orgasmic’. I know then that you will truly be together forever and that no disease will ever steal that away from you again.
John, I am so sorry that your life was tragically cut so short. I want you to know that I miss you and love you with all my heart and wanted to tell you that, today, on your birthday.
All my love,
Linda
When I think of how much I miss you not being here, I feel the pain like I’m wearing a heavy coat. Not being a skier, my memories of the happiest times with you were truly on sunny days.
I feel you everywhere I go.
For Tom, snowy ‘powder’ days seem to hurt the most; and for your parents, I know all days must hurt the most.
The gift that I took away from knowing you, John; through good times and bad, is that:
I see your smile in happy times and I see your smile in hard times . I feel you with me all the time. John, I want you to know that I am able to get through the tough times in my own life, which in no means am I comparing to the tough times you endured, because of you. Truthfully, the tough times that life has thrown at me, were made easier for one reason and one reason alone and that is what I know to be true : YOU could do it. When times are tough, I think of you and think ; What would you do, say, and how would you cope? I have been able to take all those lessons that you taught me and cherish them, each and every day of my life. I feel that in the short time that you were here with us, that you taught us all so many lessons to be cherished and we are all so blessed to have known you. You truly have enriched so many lives.
I hear you laughing all the time and for some crazy reason, especially in the rain. (I remember when you were in the hospital for that whole first year, you use to tell me that you didn't mind being in there as much on the rainy days)
I still can't believe you’re really gone in the physical sense. The truth is that it’s just not fair that you died so young. It feels like the story of your beautiful and fulfilling life had really just begun, and then death tore all the pages away of what would have come.
God knows how we all miss you, John
Your parents, Cynthia, Tom, your family, T Bone, (maybe even Jake) and all of your friends especially Phil. Even the Potomac River's Wide water and nature misses you. (Maybe you would have even saved the snake-heads? Nahhhhhh ....) Thank you for sending "PARIS" to your mom for that time when she needed her the most. Can you imagine your mom , naming a pet squirrel PARIS?
I know for sure Utah and the ski slopes miss you and all the challenges you gave to them, to be ready when you were or “look out”, the sprinter, the bass boat, and all of your favorite fishing rods like carrot stix. You treated everything and everyone with respect. I know where you are in your beautiful after life, you now feel the joy that you gave to others so freely. The only consolation to not having you here is knowing that you are free from pain and suffering and that you are still with us every minute of every day.
I think of what a role model you were in so many ways: the obvious being: your hard earned talents, your' live life to the fullest philosophy', your integrity to be who you were, true to your self and others at all times, your endurance, your strength, and most of all your courage.
All the hell we’ve all been through missing you, does not for one minute compare to all the hell you endured for so long and yet you continued to give us comfort and serenity, every single day of your good and tough times right up until the end when you were still making sure that we were all going to be OK.
I’m sorry I made you watch "Dancing with the stars", but thank you for allowing us to try and find some crazy things to focus on other the seeing the sheer pain and agony you were enduring during those hard times in the hospital.
The hardest thing for us John is just knowing that no-one could ever take your place.
And sometimes I wonder;
Who'd you be today, tomorrow, and until you were an old man? I wanted to follow all your dreams and hear all your stories, and see all your accomplishments, and eat crabs with you, I’d even get my finger nails dirty just for you. I think if you were here today, Maybe I’d even have gone in the boat one day with you (with out a life preserver)
John, since you've been gone, Tom regained his pilots license (but I have a feeling you already know that and I have a feeling grand-dad was in on that FAA flight when all hell broke loose and Tom had to demonstrate his skills to the examiner, sounds a little fishy to me, don't you think?) In all seriousness John, you need to know that the biggest reason Tom was able to recover from his huge injury was the motivation that he got from you. I remember the first day he was in physical therapy at Hopkins and he was trying to stand and bounce a ball at the same time. You and your mom had come and surprised him and were both standing in the back of the room. Tom later told me when he looked at your mom, he saw a tear coming down her face as she was watching him struggle as he had to learn again something as simple as how to bounce a ball. He could only imagine the fears that must have been going through her mind at that moment. For a minute he said he felt totally helpless and overwhelmed with what was ahead of him as far as the huge rehabilitation that he faced and all of his own fears regarding how much would he really recover?. There were so many unknowns back then not only for Tom but for you. It was such a difficult time for all of us knowing what you were going through and then Tom's accident happened and it was so much at once. You know John in spite of all you were dealing with, you came to Baltimore so many times to be supportive to Tom. Tom told me later that night that seeing you that particular day was the turning point for him in his recovery. YOU gave him all of the motivation that he needed at that instant to never feel helpless or like a victim again. He knew that he would have to fight super hard to regain the use of his body but he could do it because of YOU. He said if not for seeing the courage, strength, and tenacity that you had in fighting your own cancer battle, he does not think he would have been able to come this far in his own recovery. Thank you John for playing the critical role you did in Tom's recovery.
Regarding Cynthia: I know this, John with her by your side, you would have really seen the world and chased your dreams, Settled down with a family, had some kind of ski business going on while she pursued her passion of pharmacy and Tom would have been mooching places to stay with you, eating at Nacho Mamas. I sometimes wonder what you would have named your babies and boy would they have been the worlds ‘most spoiled grandchildren’!
John, I know that you truly had the woman of your dreams (who adored and loved you with such a heart and soul) in Cynthia. I also know that Cynthia will eventually move on with her life but that the love you shared will sustain you both on a very deep level until you meet again in that magical place that really is eternity where the sky will always be blue and the powder will always be ‘orgasmic’. I know then that you will truly be together forever and that no disease will ever steal that away from you again.
John, I am so sorry that your life was tragically cut so short. I want you to know that I miss you and love you with all my heart and wanted to tell you that, today, on your birthday.
All my love,
Linda